Potential Energy

Potential Energy: 'The energy of a particle or system of particles derived from position, or condition, rather than motion. A raised weight, coiled spring, or charged battery has potential energy.'

Another form of potential energy: me.

And it's starting to take a toll on my body.

For example, right now, aside from freezing, my mind is racing. However, this page is blank. I have so much I would like to share and the thoughts, the feelings are preparing to jump, bracing themselves to be splattered all over this page and yet... nothing.
Potential energy.

The feeling is unreal. It's almost as though you are thousands of miles away but are being forced to have your body stay in one location. I look in the mirror and am surprised at the girl who stares back. In my mind, in my researching, in my readings, I have created this person who is always waiting to reveal itself.

Waiting for the time to be right.
Waiting to move to another location.
Waiting for the money to come in.
Waiting to graduate.

Waiting.

I love when people say they are going off to 'find themselves' or some nonsense. I know where I am, it just depends on which part of myself I am looking for. My body is right here, physically cold, physically clothed, physically unfit. My mind, well what part of that are you looking for? The part that shares a story or two with you or the part that laughs at your tale? Sure, that part jumps out immediately, wanting to be liked. I just cannot get the rest of it to budge.

Honestly, why wait? Why have I waited and continue to wait? Ready to make a move, ready to pounce... yet, nothing.

I think it boils down to fear, among a nice pesto of other ingredients.

Like a fortune cookie once fortuned: If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten.

I guess, still, after all of this I don't know what to do.

In essence,

I'm still waiting.